Greg had finished a year long chemotherapy treatment for Hepatitis C just 2 years before and had never really recovered. Once Greg was at home, I began to realize how sick he was. He had a lot of anxiety, depression and even memory loss. There were days he would break down and cry and say, "I just don't know what to do." I would pray with him and try to encourage him to no avail. Nothing seemed to help. I began to think the Hepatitis C might be back since he still had many of the physical symptoms as well as the anxiety and depression.
April came, then May and still no employment in sight. The Lord stretched the money and it lasted longer than I would have thought. Finally, in June, Greg was offered a job in another state. We put our house on the market, we had an offer on it and then the company decided not to hire Greg. I had never heard of such. “How could they make a written job offer and then say we just decided not to hire you?” This was devastating. Still, we knew God was in control. On we trudged.
In July, Greg had a possibility of another job. It was just a possibility but looked very promising. The company brought him out for a week long working interview and at the end of the week he left without getting the job. By this time, I knew they must have picked up on the anxiety Greg had or maybe the short term memory loss he seemed to be struggling with. He was not doing well, and it was hard to hide. When he talked he didn't make sense at times. Upon returning from the interview he just sat in a chair and stared with no communication. Tears would well up in his eyes and roll down his cheeks.
Without knowing where we would get the money and having no insurance I was determined to get help for him and took him to several doctors. The doctors said he was depressed and prescribed an antidepressant. This did not provide relief for the physical or even many of the mental symptoms. At this point, he was too sick to even function. He had trouble doing even the smallest of tasks. I was helping him through each day.
Providing the needs of a family of seven was beginning to look impossible by July, nine months without employment. I felt panicky, wondering what I could do to support us. Going to a job and leaving the kids home with Greg was not an option. I also didn’t feel as though I had marketable skills having been a stay at home mom since my first child came into the world.
Crying out to God and seeking counsel, no one seemed to understand. I felt a lot of condemnation. Soon, I realized this was totally out of my control. I had to just trust the Lord, but how?
One night in August, a woman from my church called me. She told me the Lord woke her up in the night and she had a message for me. I grabbed paper and pen, quickly jotting down eleven pages of notes. There was no doubt her message was from the Lord.
She asked me, “Is there anything you can do?”
“Not that I can think of and every idea I come up with God seems to close the door.” I answered.
“Well,” with joy in her voice and I could imagine a twinkle in her clear blue eyes, she said, “When there is nothing else you can do, you are just where God wants you! You have to totally depend upon Him.”
Just as I thought we weren't going to be able to make it financially we started receiving checks and gift cards from people in our homeschool group and church. I realized even though my faith was so little God still took care of us. My heart was encouraged and my faith became stronger.
By August I realized that November was coming fast and we had annual bills $5,000 over and above our normal expenses, things like insurance, taxes, etc. all due within that month. By this time, I had seen the hand of the Lord providing, so now my faith had become stronger. I wondered how God would provide.
“Not that I can think of and every idea I come up with God seems to close the door.” I answered.
“Well,” with joy in her voice and I could imagine a twinkle in her clear blue eyes, she said, “When there is nothing else you can do, you are just where God wants you! You have to totally depend upon Him.”
Just as I thought we weren't going to be able to make it financially we started receiving checks and gift cards from people in our homeschool group and church. I realized even though my faith was so little God still took care of us. My heart was encouraged and my faith became stronger.
By August I realized that November was coming fast and we had annual bills $5,000 over and above our normal expenses, things like insurance, taxes, etc. all due within that month. By this time, I had seen the hand of the Lord providing, so now my faith had become stronger. I wondered how God would provide.
The phone rang again, it was October and the woman from church called me a second time, “We can’t know what God is planning to do shortly.” is what she first said to me.
She believed God was going to provide a deliverance soon. She shared stories from the Bible such as; The woman with the Issue of Blood; she had spent all she had on doctors with no answers. (We had actually had some answers for some of our health issues) The day before Jesus came into town was just another day of suffering for this woman. She had no indication that she was destined for a marvelous healing by God’s Own Son, the very next day.
She encouraged me saying, “Trust God without a deliverance in sight. God can make a deliverance out of nothing.”
The man at the pool of Bethsaida had suffered for 38 years. He was languishing the day before Jesus visited; just another day of suffering. He didn't know the very next day was set and determined, from the beginning of the world that he would be delivered. Once again, there was no indication that anything was going to happen. Again, I was assured God was going to provide a deliverance.
We had received checks in the mail for $10, $20, sometimes $100 and even a small church had given us $500. I figured this is what the Lord was going to do, provide in $10's and 20's. With her encouragement I began to thank him for every little thing and was excited about the possibility of what God providing a deliverance was going to entail.
Chatting on the phone one Saturday morning in October, I received a certified letter. Opening it I found a check, not for ten dollars or even a hundred dollars but a check for ten thousand dollars, yes, that is what I said, $10,000.00 was in a card. I had to count the zeros to make sure I was reading it correctly.
This was a big deliverance, much bigger than I could have imagined. What made it even more remarkable was it came from someone who had no connection whatsoever to the woman from church who told me about the deliverance.
We were able to pay those bills that were due that November. Christmas came, God provided through that time for more than I have time to write about, things my children prayed for. Greg was still not doing well. I still had to totally trust that God would be our provider.
In January, we found out another very big piece of Greg's problems. It was his thyroid. Within 3 days of Thyroid medication, I had a new husband. His energy level was more than it had been for 9 years. His depression improved. His memory got better. He was able to resume looking for a job again.
Panic set in again, in April. It had been 17 months without an income, with a family of seven. We had seen the Lord miraculously intervene but surely the Lord wouldn't keep on doing these miraculous interventions forever. That last time was bigger than anything we could have imagined. Nope, I was sure God had done all He was going to do for us.
Once again my phone rang and it was the woman from church. She just called to check on us. I told her our situation and how I was panicking, again, as to how we would survive.
She said to me “Well, you know God doesn’t always do the same thing twice.”
I thought, “That is exactly what I thought....He won't do that again.”
A few days later, we received a check for $5,000.00 in the mail. I was humbled. God really did care about us! Even when things looked so bleak...God really did care!
Guess what? Eventually, that money was gone...I tried my best to make it last as long as possible. We were finally down to $300.00 and two weeks later God supplied a job for Greg.
We went 18 months, a family of seven, husband unemployed and ill and not only survived but didn’t go in debt. God met our needs.
So many times I still panic and worry and then I am reminded of what God has done in our lives and am ashamed that I would even question His care for me.
I find my behavior is much like the Children of Israel who complained every time things got hard but God in his grace and mercy would turn around and do another miraculous thing. My prayer is that I don’t forget, ever, what God, in his infinite mercy has done for us.
She believed God was going to provide a deliverance soon. She shared stories from the Bible such as; The woman with the Issue of Blood; she had spent all she had on doctors with no answers. (We had actually had some answers for some of our health issues) The day before Jesus came into town was just another day of suffering for this woman. She had no indication that she was destined for a marvelous healing by God’s Own Son, the very next day.
She encouraged me saying, “Trust God without a deliverance in sight. God can make a deliverance out of nothing.”
The man at the pool of Bethsaida had suffered for 38 years. He was languishing the day before Jesus visited; just another day of suffering. He didn't know the very next day was set and determined, from the beginning of the world that he would be delivered. Once again, there was no indication that anything was going to happen. Again, I was assured God was going to provide a deliverance.
We had received checks in the mail for $10, $20, sometimes $100 and even a small church had given us $500. I figured this is what the Lord was going to do, provide in $10's and 20's. With her encouragement I began to thank him for every little thing and was excited about the possibility of what God providing a deliverance was going to entail.
Chatting on the phone one Saturday morning in October, I received a certified letter. Opening it I found a check, not for ten dollars or even a hundred dollars but a check for ten thousand dollars, yes, that is what I said, $10,000.00 was in a card. I had to count the zeros to make sure I was reading it correctly.
This was a big deliverance, much bigger than I could have imagined. What made it even more remarkable was it came from someone who had no connection whatsoever to the woman from church who told me about the deliverance.
We were able to pay those bills that were due that November. Christmas came, God provided through that time for more than I have time to write about, things my children prayed for. Greg was still not doing well. I still had to totally trust that God would be our provider.
In January, we found out another very big piece of Greg's problems. It was his thyroid. Within 3 days of Thyroid medication, I had a new husband. His energy level was more than it had been for 9 years. His depression improved. His memory got better. He was able to resume looking for a job again.
Panic set in again, in April. It had been 17 months without an income, with a family of seven. We had seen the Lord miraculously intervene but surely the Lord wouldn't keep on doing these miraculous interventions forever. That last time was bigger than anything we could have imagined. Nope, I was sure God had done all He was going to do for us.
Once again my phone rang and it was the woman from church. She just called to check on us. I told her our situation and how I was panicking, again, as to how we would survive.
She said to me “Well, you know God doesn’t always do the same thing twice.”
I thought, “That is exactly what I thought....He won't do that again.”
A few days later, we received a check for $5,000.00 in the mail. I was humbled. God really did care about us! Even when things looked so bleak...God really did care!
Guess what? Eventually, that money was gone...I tried my best to make it last as long as possible. We were finally down to $300.00 and two weeks later God supplied a job for Greg.
We went 18 months, a family of seven, husband unemployed and ill and not only survived but didn’t go in debt. God met our needs.
So many times I still panic and worry and then I am reminded of what God has done in our lives and am ashamed that I would even question His care for me.
I find my behavior is much like the Children of Israel who complained every time things got hard but God in his grace and mercy would turn around and do another miraculous thing. My prayer is that I don’t forget, ever, what God, in his infinite mercy has done for us.
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